Quantitative and the Qualitative

Saturday morning training ride numbers:

Easy ride down to the start, sticking to the even grade of Colorado Avenue, no traffic, no wind, lots of sun

Duration:      22:59 (30:09)
    Work:          127 kJ
    TSS:           7.7 (intensity factor 0.447)
    Norm Power:    143
    VI:            1.55
    Pw:HR:          -46.25%
    Pa:HR:          22.77%
    Distance:      6.844 mi
    Elevation Gain:        516 ft
    Elevation Loss:       1039 ft
    Grade:         -1.5 %  (-525 ft)

Ride starts with an easy seven mile roll to the east side of town, we average around 20mph and the group sticks together.  At Mark Dabling Rd. we turn south and hit the hill at race speed, position is important, towards the front and push up the hill and we crack into the thirties and the group is now a long string.  Rotate on and off the front, raise the tempo and we’re in the high thirties, the road rolls away beneath us and I hear no one talking behind me; they are just trying to breathe.

Duration:      1:08:14 (1:11:39)
    Work:          830 kJ
    TSS:           78.1 (intensity factor 0.83)
    Norm Power:    265
    VI:            1.31
    Pw:HR:          0.93%
    Pa:HR:          -27.65%
    Distance:      27.636 mi
    Elevation Gain:        1420 ft
    Elevation Loss:       2139 ft
    Grade:         -0.5 %  (-719 ft)
                          Min    Max    Avg
    Power:           0    1115    203     watts
    Heart Rate:  98    167    145     bpm
    Cadence:       17    178    81     rpm
    Speed:           0    37.8    24.2     mph
    Pace             1:35    0:00    2:29     min/mi

After the last sprint we roll easy and pick up the riders jettisoned from the pack, most do go off the back.  After a few miles we’re all together and the tempo picks up a bit, maybe around 22mph as we go into a slight north wind.  My legs have felt sluggish all ride and this makes me feel good; I’m now able to participate, belong, on a sub-par physical day. 

Duration:      2:06:34 (2:31:24)
    Work:          1318 kJ
    TSS:           99.1 (intensity factor 0.686)
    Norm Power:    220
    VI:            1.26
    Pw:HR:          5.53%
    Pa:HR:          29.24%
    Distance:      34.108 mi
    Elevation Gain:        3806 ft
    Elevation Loss:       2539 ft
    Grade:         0.7 %  (1267 ft)
                           Min    Max    Avg
    Power:           0    955    174     watts
    Heart Rate:   80    160    133     bpm
    Cadence:         19    155    74     rpm
    Speed:           0    28.9    16.1     mph
    Pace               2:05    0:00    3:44     min/mi
    Altitude:        5359    6775    5988     ft
    Crank Torque:    0    1101    200     lb-in

‘My wife left me.  She got the kids up earlier than usual and left the house before I got up.  Then she texted me and told me to pack and get out of the house.’

Amazing how words can change things, alter an environment, nudge what we think is true to another place.  We’re standing in front of a Starbuck’s on Tejon in Colorado Springs.  It’s warm, a wonderful day to do something we’ve been doing together for a while now, ride our bikes in a big circle.  People are laughing, leaning over their handlebars, feeling the sun burn through the cool air and heat the lycra stretched across backs and arms.  Eric has stopped talking and I look up at him.  A few seconds ago, this was just pre-ride banter and now he has just said something very important, much too important.  I look up and see him, his face is open, honestly listening to what I will say in return.  Over his shoulder one of the women on our ride is also listening as spectator, interested in our conversation. 

‘She left me because I’m riding too much.’  And it’s true, Eric is riding much more in the last few months than he has in his seventeen year marriage.  He’s also dropped fifty five pounds and feels good about himself for the first time in a long time.  ‘She says I look unhealthy.’  But it’s not about that.  It’s not about the cycling, the time spent in the saddle; it’s about the discrepancy between who he was and who he is now.  He’s changed and his wife is confronted with where she is now.  It would be presumptuous to give advice, so I tell him about my marriage.

Twenty years ago, I was scared silly about committing to a relationship with someone that wasn’t going the same direction as myself.  We fall in love with people all of the time, I still do, but what occurred to me twenty years ago and what still seems true is that we often fall in love with someone at a common meeting place, but on the way to somewhere completely different.  Make the connection there without realizing this and soon the bond is getting pulled at, snapping when the roads are far apart.  I remember telling Janet this metaphor in a tent pitched in a Bulawayo, the scent of Jacaranda falling around us, moments before we decided to get married.

Twenty years is a long time for two individuals to change, and we have, but we haven’t just changed, we’ve grown and were lucky enough at twenty five to have enough self knowledge to make a reasonable guess that we were growing in the same way.  Lucky.

Eric is growing, cycling is his new found medium, and any advice that I could give him would be to look for opportunities to allow her into the joyful world he’s discovered.  It’s so easy not to, hoarding the experience for yourself, developing new relationships, confronting new challenges and feeling rising fitness and self-esteem.  So tempting to keep it all.  I give some advice.  Plan time to ride together.  Give her time to exercise with friends and work to facilitate it.  I think of what I’ve learned the hard way.  I’m smiling and see that the woman behind Eric is smiling too. 

We push off across the intersection.  She’s wants him to come home.  She’s started running.