rumination in the dark at fifty three

in the end
at last
in the simple dark
between closing my eyes
and sleep's release
is all i am
what i've done
the sum total of one

the only fear i've had
was losing something i didn't have
a worry that wasn't real
isn't that what love is
needing what we don't have
seeking what isn't
in places that aren't

in the dark, i see
and smile
at what i am
when the fear is gone.

vin chaud

a night's wind in montmartre

pushes past the doors, the patrons

squeeze hip to shoulder 

gripping mulled wine

letting songs roll off

in french I don't always understand

there's a vague beauty

a monet would understand

seen through memory

and eyes half wide.